The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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