So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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