one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Randomize
