Screwed.edu
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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