I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
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