I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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