so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
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