Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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