Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
In America we eat man semen.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
