He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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