So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
