We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
