I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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