im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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