i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
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