You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
