Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Can Purell be used as lube?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
