And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
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