im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
