If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
