im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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