Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
