i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
