i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
