Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(802): View more from Vermont

is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?

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(313): View more from Michigan

i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.

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(662): View more from Mississippi

looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme

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(630): View more from Illinois

don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.

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(937): View more from Ohio

She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.

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(443): View more from Maryland

and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp

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(203): View more from Connecticut

So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.

(603): View more from New Hampshire

You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?

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(770): View more from Georgia

Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?

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(314): View more from Missouri

I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt

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