It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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