i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
