He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
