I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
