So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
