I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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