There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
