You really coming over, don't trick.
I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
