The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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