Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize