Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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