This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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