No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
