WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I have post one night stand depression
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