Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
