I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
