I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
