I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I'm getting married
To pizza
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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