i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
