mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
