just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
