Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
