ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
