its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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