I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
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