Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
