I was born with a shot glass in my hand
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
