I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
