Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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