There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
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