ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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