We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He's a Shit stain on my heart
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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