i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
