his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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