Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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