I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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