I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
