is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
