Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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